Endometriosis and Empathy: What to Say and What Not to Say
When someone you care about is living with endometriosis, knowing what to say—and what not to say—can make a big difference. This is a complex, invisible condition that affects every part of life, from physical health to emotional wellbeing.
Your words won’t fix everything—but they can help someone feel seen, supported, and respected. And that matters more than you might realise.
Here’s a helpful guide on how to offer empathy, not minimisation.
🎯 First: Understand the Impact
Endometriosis affects around 1 in 10 women and people assigned female at birth in the UK (NHS, 2023). It causes tissue similar to the womb lining to grow in other areas of the body, often leading to severe pain, fatigue, bowel or bladder issues, and even infertility.
Despite this, many people living with endometriosis report feeling dismissed, misunderstood, or gaslighted—by doctors, employers, and even loved ones (RCOG, 2023; Endometriosis UK, 2024).
That’s why empathy is so important.
✅ Supportive Things to Say
Here are a few phrases that can go a long way:
- “I believe you.”
One of the most validating things someone with an invisible illness can hear. - “That sounds really hard. Do you want to talk about it?”
Offers space without pushing them to share more than they want. - “How can I help today?”
Shows you’re willing to assist in ways that matter to them—not just what you assume they need. - “You don’t need to explain yourself.”
Sometimes people with endometriosis feel guilty for cancelling plans or needing rest. This sentence removes that pressure. - “Thanks for sharing that with me.”
Acknowledges the courage it takes to open up about something personal and often stigmatised.
❌ What Not to Say (Even With Good Intentions)
These phrases often come from a place of trying to help—but they can unintentionally minimise or invalidate someone’s experience:
- “Everyone has bad periods.”
➡️ This overlooks the fact that endometriosis pain is not a normal period. It can be chronic, disabling, and occur outside menstruation altogether. - “Have you tried yoga / cutting out dairy / thinking positive?”
➡️ While lifestyle changes can help some people, suggesting a simple fix can feel dismissive of a complex medical condition. - “At least it’s not something worse.”
➡️ Comparison doesn’t help. Pain is still real, even if someone else has a different struggle. - “But you look fine!”
➡️ Endometriosis is invisible. Many people “mask” their symptoms—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering. - “You’re always tired / cancelling / moody.”
➡️ These comments can feel like criticism, when the person is already fighting hard to manage their condition and daily life.
💡 If You’re Not Sure What to Say…
It’s okay to admit that.
Try:
“I don’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I’m here, and I want to learn.”
This shows curiosity, humility, and compassion—the cornerstones of empathy.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to be a medical expert to support someone with endometriosis. You just need to listen without judgement, validate their reality, and stand beside them.
By choosing your words with care, you can help create a world that feels safer and more understanding—one conversation at a time.
Disclaimer
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult a healthcare professional for personalised diagnosis or treatment.
References
- NHS (2023). Endometriosis. Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/endometriosis/ [Accessed 7 Aug. 2025].
- Endometriosis UK (2024). Living with Endometriosis. Available at: https://www.endometriosis-uk.org [Accessed 7 Aug. 2025].
- Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) (2023). Better for Women: Endometriosis Report. Available at: https://www.rcog.org.uk [Accessed 7 Aug. 2025].
